Tu ausencia poema: Poema TU AUSENCIA, en Poemas del Alma

Poema TU AUSENCIA, en Poemas del Alma

Tu ausencia esta provocándome lágrimas que nunca pensé conocer sufriendo el dolor de tu partida, que corren persistentemente por el rostro, sin poderlo evitar, la herida dentro del corazón es tan profunda que con cada recuerdo, cruje, manando toda la tristeza que refleja el alma a mis ojos en forma de sentimientos mancillados, mirándote como sólo te he mirado todo estos años, con silencio de olvido…, syglesias.

yo sufro y solo DIOS sabe cuanto
pero no me dejas otro camino
tu dices que no quieres nada con migo
yo en esta vida ya mucho e sufrido
yo quería tu cariño para que fueras muy feliz
con migo pero tu ya tienes tu vida y no
quieres luchar por ser feliz y yo tengo todas las ganas de vivir
nada mas dime una palabra y estaré a tu lado hasta morir
solo si esa palabra sale de tu corazón noble yo cambiare
de opinión y se re tuya mi amor

MARIARL

Tu ausencia ha destrozado mi destino
No puedo ya vivir sin tu calor
Recuerdo tus palabras hermosas
Cuando tu me llamabas Tu Amor
Ahora tu voz me causa pena
Me duele tanto que estemos alejados
No se porque el destino fue tan cruel
Llevandote por siempre de mi lado
soki

esta ausencia que traspasa mi alma, me grita, me ahoga y seca mis
lagrimas. ..
esta ausencia que me ahuye en las noche ruidosas,y me llena de malos desafíos…
esta ausencia mía lleva tu nombre por que tu calor y tu perfume es lo único que me queda de esta amor que dejaste tirado en mi balcón…
dime si esta ausencia es eterna para salir corriendo a verte, por que este sufrimiento quema a muerte lenta¡¡
esta ausencia es lo que me queda de ti, esta ausencia no termina en todos lados gritan mi corazón tu presencia…»@carrascoroczi

no entiendo tu olvido dándote yo tanto cariño
que dando mi alma vacía por amarte noche y día
sin pensar que no me querías
mariarl

¡Qué pena que dolor
siento con tantas
ausencias!…
Que se me
agotaron las lágrimas
y el consuelo de
tantas ausencias….
Que están tan
presentes que
no sabemos
siquiera reconocerlas…
Ausencias que no vemos
y queremos tenerlas
«gozadera» de sufrimientos
¡Qué bueno que lindo
que es sufrir
me encanta cada día
más!.
Y si te vuelas y
miras, verás
que las abejas
pese a todo
siguen produciendo
miel por mas ausencias
que hayan …
(rosi12)

Tu ausencia vacía ocupa todo mi ser
envolviendome en inexistentes soledades
donde mis lágrimas se cansan de caer
encarcelada por el Adíos y por un difunto ayer
Saba:::

Tu ausencia deja huellas imposibles de borrar sobre mi pecho desnudo, por otros brazos que sentidamente deseen amarme y el peligro de poder decir tu querido nombre en labios de otra mujer, desgraciadamente siempre estará pendiente y latente por un corazón que aunque dolido nunca ha podido nunca sustituirte, porque a pesar de todo el desprecio sufrido, te sigo amando en silencio…, syglesias.

No sufras más mi ausencia
estoy aquí y ahora para
cuando quieras….
No sufras en silencio
no tiene sentido sufrir
más ausencias.
Estoy acá y aquí
para amarte
luego iremos viendo…

Esos bloques no son
más que viejos miedos
no son ni bloques
ya .
Son excusas de no
querer vivir sin ausencias.
Porque siempre estuvimos
juntos desde un primer
momento solo fueron
malos entendidos
cosas dichas fuera
de lugar o de momento,
llevadas por un impulso
incongruente.
Te pido disculpas si
alguna vez he dañado
ese maravilloso ser
que eres, así que
deja que entren todas
las aves y mariposas
a tu jardín.
Y gocemos de este
hermoso amor que
siempre nos unió.
Mas la razón, siempre
pudo más y se impuso
inefable a un amor
infinito que eres nada
más que tú y yo
y lo demás, lo que pasó
ya fue, no importa.
De lo dicho o hecho siempre
estamos a tiempo,
te quiero amor mío
¿Cómo hago para
que por fin, lo entiendas?
Todos nos hemos equivocado
alguna vez….
y no por eso- dime tú:
¿Para qué
levantar muros
o lápidas o monumentos
a las ausencias?…

¡Qué bueno que
tienes tantas
fuentes, jardines
y rosas!
Estás preparado
entonces para
que una doncella
suba por la enredadera. ..
A contemplar desde
tu balcón
tantas flores
movidas por suaves brisas…
Y también contemplar
fuentes de
peces de colores
¡Qué alegría
que siento por
esa muchacha!
Que seguro que de ojos
verdes encuentre
tan bello corazón
desacorazado y
con alma tan noble…
Mas te has equivocado
que no soy la indicada
para ayudar a ningún
constructor ya tengo
esa rosa y ese clavel…
Así que buena suerte,
buena vida que esa
muchacha será
muy afortunada
al encontrarte
está todo listo en
ti…

Poema …»TU AUSENCIA»…, de Venus , en Poemas del Alma

 

 

 

Silencio de la noche, doloroso silencio.

En esta noche larga y fría.

Perdida entre mis pensamientos  y mis locuras,

Anhelo  poder verte.

Me siento a escribir, y en lo primero que pienso

Es en tu recuerdo.

 

Es así, porque tu amor se ha alejado de mí,

Se ha marchado hacia otro jardín.

Porque ya no soy la dueña de tu corazón,

Ya no soy tu querido amor.

 

Sin embargo, mi corazón no te quiere dejar ir,   

Mi alma ha quedado adherida a ti.

Mi corazón se ha conformado

A la sola imagen de tu cuerpo, a tu simple recuerdo.

 

Porque es tu ausencia la que día a día

Permanece justo aquí.

Es precisamente tu ausencia,

La que me lleva a la evocación,

La que embelesa todo mi sentir,

La que me hacer sufrir.

 

Es tu ausencia,

La que me hace ver una vez más,

Que tu amor, ya no es para mí.

Porque ya no soy, la dueña de tus besos,

La locura de tus días.

Ya no soy, la que hace vibrar tu cuerpo,

De ternura y pasión.

Ya no soy, la que te hace suspirar,

La que en cada amanecer, despierta a tu lado,

Envuelta entre tus brazos.

Porque ya no soy, la que te desvela en las noches,

La felicidad de tus días.

Ya no soy y jamás volveré a ser,

Tu amor,

Tu todo,

Tu razón de ser.

 

 

Pero mi corazón, es  testarudo, llevado en su parecer,

No quiere olvidarte, te quiere siempre en el.

Así que, se deleita, se sustenta,

Se castiga una y otra vez,

Con la imagen de tu cuerpo,

Con el simple aroma de tu piel, 

Con el deseo de volver a tener, la dulzura de tu amor,

 Que aún pervive en mí ser.

 

Mi corazón, se abraza a la simple ilusión,

De fundir mi alma con la tuya, convertirnos en uno solo otra vez.

 Y aunque no estés a mi lado nunca más.

Y a pesar de todo el dolor que estoy sintiendo.

Y aunque no tenga más razones para existir.

Y aunque tu amor ya no sea para mí. 

Y aunque el aire me asfixie y no sienta mi corazón latir.

Mi amor siempre será para ti.

 

Te amé, Te amo,

Y siempre te amaré.

 

Read online «Your poem» — Kirsanov Semyon Isaakovich — RuLit

Today
June is the first day,
of your birth

Ripping off
I
from the calendar
injuring with a burn
leaf…
Oh, before!
How I was
with flowers
in quiet,
While you sleep,
with an armful of petals
and tapes
Wake up with your lips,
Touch only
question
«How old are you?»

And put a watch on your hand
:
«They are beautiful,
wear». ..
There will be no more
years old for you!
Watch
Over the pulse
Do not walk!
But I’m used to
waking up,
giving,
knitting monograms
from the letters:
Ah, 0, 0, El
What to present now,
so that you can take it?..
— Poems alone,
where are you and I
are visible through the weeping,
where are you!
I will exclaim in tears, —
your poem!
In a bitter time
I,
like a bandage from a burn,
plucked
from the calendar

Now nothing —
verses alone
me
dream
return to those days
In verses
I return again
to the alarm of dreams
Dear
again to my misfortune,
again
in the delirium of
painful rhymes
I in the consumata
of the 9,0003 nonsense.
Again
Your table,
Your glass
and so many
bottles,
ampoules,
needles,
and lamp
The doctor catches his forehead,
cyclops nickel eye
directs a glare
on the horror of ulcers
oh,
in the neck of your
sick.

What kind of doctors were there
!
Whose
stethoscope
with melancholy
did not lay down
on shreds of the lungs
at the shoulder?!
Evda knocks
in the doctor’s hand
your threadlike pulse!
Your nonsense,
Your forehead
heated
palm probe:
— How’s the head?
— A little ice,
How’s the weather?
-cold …
I lied,
Three days
As March,
Only in the morning
Luzhs of the lollip.
Under 40
fever
ran up
since morning.
Then drops
dropped out of place
homeopath. nine0003 The Tibetan doctor brought you

spicy herbs.
Professor’s hand
Cauterized
Tonsils

An old healer came.
Infusion
on the grass
brought a simple …

Maria Malinovskaya: “Your words can help someone”

Text: Galina Rimbu

photos from the personal archive of Maria Malinovskaya

Belarusian poetess and researcher of modern poetry Maria Malinovskaya has been working as an editor of the poetry department in the online magazine Literature for several years. In 2019, she became a participant in the famous European Poetry Festival , which was held in the UK. Western researchers of Russian-language literature and Russian literary critics have been talking a lot about her poems, documentary poems and cycles devoted to the problems of violence, mental disorders and the ethics of talking about these problems. Especially for the «Year of Literature» Galina Rymbu spoke with Maria Malinovskaya about how editorial work has influenced her own writing, about European poetic practices and communities, the Belarusian literary context, “documentary writing” and violence.

Masha, tell us about your work as the editor of the poetry department of the Literature magazine. The magazine is published twice a month and each issue contains four poetry collections. This means that you probably have to read a lot of different texts every month. Has this intense editing work somehow changed your own perception of poetry? nine0148

Maria Malinovskaya: Yes, I did. When the editor-in-chief of Andronik Romanov offered to take up the poetry department at Literature, I was 19 years old and had just moved from Gomel to Moscow. It was a time of changing ideas about modern poetry and continuous internal breakdown. And work in the magazine became a way to study the surrounding literary world just at the moment when for a while I wanted to distance myself from my own. Perhaps that is why I was able to release eight collections a week (yes, thanks to the irrepressible energy of Andronicus, we started with such speed), take on unfamiliar and opaque material and comprehend it with greed and impatience. To say that «Literature» opened for me as an author some new ways of development? — No. But she showed what people of different generations do, and taught them to understand and appreciate different practices, regardless of their own preferences. nine0023

In 2019, you became a participant of the rather famous European Poetry Festival, which was held in the UK. Tell us, what poetic practices presented there do you remember the most? How does the European poetic community as a whole feel about modern Russian-language poetry? Is she well known there?

Maria Malinovskaya: Almost don’t know. Compared to other Western countries, we are little integrated into the international process of exchanging creative experience, including festivals, residencies, programs for poets organized by universities. There are also differences in ideas about contemporary poetry. nine0023


For the most part, European colleagues are much less oriented than we are towards complicated writing, sensitive to language and philosophy of language, and are much more inclined towards performance, towards combining text and sound,


text and visuals. They are not afraid to speak simple words and tell stories that can touch any casual listener. So there are listeners — more than two hundred people came to the main event of the festival, the hall could not accommodate them, and at some point the organizer had to turn people around at the entrance. nine0023

You were born in the city of Gomel, as far as I know, now you live in Moscow and position yourself as a Belarusian poetess, while writing in Russian. Tell me, did you initially write in Russian or did you try to write (do you write) in Belarusian too? Which contemporary Belarusian poets are important to you and who would you recommend reading?

Maria Malinovskaya: Russian was spoken in my family and in principle everywhere — in the gymnasium, in sports sections, in an art studio, among friends. Belarusian was taught at school, songs were played on the radio in it. For example, the opposition group «Krambambulya» was especially popular among us, at that time 8-10-year-old country blockheads. Of course, we did not read political allusions, but their songs already had more than enough banter. At school in «bel. lite” we were stuffed with dull patriotic poetry, and from these lessons, however, as well as from the lessons of “Russian. lit., we fled at the first opportunity. But I got lucky. Teacher of Russian literature at the Lyceum, where I entered after 9class, turned out to be the ex-girlfriend of one of the most interesting countercultural Gomel poets Anatol Sys , already deceased at that time. I advise you to read, for example, it. He is little known in comparison with such current authors as Dmitry Strotsev, Andrey Khadanovich, Ales Ryazanov, Tanya Skarynkina, Olga Zlotnikova and others. But here it is necessary to make a reservation: I did not live in Minsk, but in Gomel with the only “Literary School”, where all beginners somehow ended up. Everything more or less progressive, new, interesting was regarded there as a heresy and a threat, and more often was simply hushed up. Despite this, I also wrote in Belarusian. Interestingly, some texts and thoughts felt possible only on it — some other level of closeness to oneself. nine0023


Having moved to Moscow, I probably learned more about Belarusian poetry than when I was in the country.


I hope the situation has changed over the years.

Critics classify some of your texts as «documentary writing». Are you following this direction? Which «documentary» authors are important to you? Can you tell a little about the status of the document in your texts? What role do documents play in the overall architecture of your poems and cycles? nine0148

Maria Malinovskaya: Yes, I follow this direction to the best of my ability. Among the poets that are important to me who have texts in this genre are Vitaly Lekhtsier, Lida Yusupova, Stanislav Lvovsky, Kirill Medvedev, Alexander Averbukh, Mark Novak, Philip Metres and others. The document in my texts is mostly verbatim. In Kaimania, these are monologues of people suffering from mental disorders, which I graphically presented in the form of poetic texts. In the poem «You are people. I am not” these are remarks from my dialogue with a repeat offender, as well as the words of other people whose life crime has entered. In the poem «Prichalny Passage» this is the speech of a real victim and a real rapist, the statements of serial killers and forensic experts, the remarks of teenagers romanticizing the image of a cruel killer, and the words of people who have encountered this in reality. nine0023

In each of these cases, the text is fully documented (there are no non-documentary fragments and the author with his overwhelming «I» that imposes a certain point of view). But the role of verbatim varies: from 100%, as in “Kaimaniya”, to partial, as in “You are people. I am not” and “Prichalny Proyezd”, where, in addition to the speech I recorded, there are also fragments of a criminal chronicle, Google search results and other materials.

As far as I know, your scientific dissertation was originally devoted to the analysis of Fedor Svarovsky’s poems. Why did this particular author turn out to be important to you and how did you decide to dedicate a whole study to him? nine0143

Maria Malinovskaya: A lot of things came together. Since postgraduate studies at the institute where I initially wanted to continue my studies turned out to be paid for the citizens of Belarus, and I did not have the necessary funds, I had to hastily change plans, retrain and enter the master’s program at the Russian State University for the Humanities. The two years spent there turned out to be both useful and traumatic for me at the same time: narratology was taught at our department, in which I immediately saw the missing tools for studying modern poetry. I cannot convey the excitement and zeal with which I set to work — in Russia, narratology, behind rare and not entirely successful, in my opinion, examples has not yet explored the field of poetry, especially modern poetry. Svarovsky’s poetry, as narrative, that is, narrative, was ideally suited for the first deep and comprehensive analysis. But I cannot convey the force of the blow, which, after the publication of the first two Vakov articles, I received in my own department —


they left me after class and carried out “ideological work” with an ultimatum:


“Either remove all references to Western philosophers, current context and methodology from your work, or don’t defend yourself” . In addition, I was forbidden to base my master’s thesis only on modern poetry: they imposed a comparison with «Vasily Terkin» and the lyrics of Mandelstam , against which my wonderful opponent Alexander Zhitenev unequivocally spoke out, pointing out that this destroyed the original concept of the dissertation. Now I am a graduate student of the National Academy of Sciences of Belarus, I have an excellent supervisor who thinks freshly and progressively, and most importantly, gives freedom to a novice scientist.

Your poetry cycle «Kaimaniya» documents the speech of other people with mental disorders. In your recent interview with Circus Olimp + TV, you said that this, including for you, was a way to release this speech, to destigmatize both her and the people from whom this speech comes. But, what do you think, where is this line between destigmatization and exoticization in art? How can one avoid excessive aestheticization of suffering and give them the opportunity to speak as if “for themselves”, or, on the contrary, do we need to talk about the suffering of others, passing through our experience and empathy? Remember Susan Sontag’s essay «Looking at Others’ Suffering»? She writes about the shock impact of military photography, but at the same time she criticizes the whole structure of modern culture: “shock is the leading stimulus for consumption and a source of value. ” nine0148

Maria Malinovskaya:


Yes, there is a risk to fit into the logic of shock consumption, as well as into the logic of parasitism on other people’s suffering.


From this point of view, as a documentary filmmaker, I fully share the claims of many critics: too much symbolic capital is now «laundered» through the mechanisms of articulation of human misfortunes. Moreover, many authors do not bother: they write “in a hot way”, grabbing at any informational occasion. This is wild, in my opinion, and directly contradicts the declared humanistic intentions of documentary poetry. Therefore, it is worth starting with the correct setting of your own tasks as a documentary filmmaker and the readiness to identify them at any time. At the same time, I am convinced that if you look at the world and people as potential material, nothing good will come of it. All my texts were born after a long personal interaction with informants, which was, in fact, an ordinary acquaintance. It’s just that at some point I understood that the experience of a particular person should be described — this will help him both to speak out painful questions for himself and to some extent look at them from the outside, and to others who do not have such an opportunity. And one more important point: even in the process of work, we are not talking about a purposeful display of the shocking. This is not a mass culture where there is a consumer demand that needs to be satisfied. If something is needed, then follow the main task — to show this or that problem on this or that example. And this may not be shocking at all, but, for example, boring. Or unpleasant. Or whatever else. So, this is how it should be shown — as it is. The fact is that this is sometimes the most shocking. So you avoid both aestheticization and exoticization. Although bringing a certain problem to the public often means singling out the people who have encountered it from the total number and thereby exoticizing them. But this does not mean that you need to be silent precisely in those cases when it is necessary to speak — and when your words can help someone. nine0023


As for letting other people’s suffering through your own experience and empathy, I think this is something that should be left out of the text.


It is better to support a person during personal communication. Most of my informants were in dire need of this, and many of their problems were due to loneliness and the lack of elementary warmth in life. But I wouldn’t present controversial and painful problems through the prism of sympathy, which, as a rule, go beyond the personal and lie within the society. This narrows the view of them and devalues ​​them to some extent. nine0023

Your poem «The Docking Train» is about sexual violence, and it’s a polylogue of voices (both the victims and their perpetrators). Its publication just coincided with the rise of the feminist movement in the post-Soviet space, with the flash mobs «I’m Not Afraid to Say» and «MeToo», with the fact that we began to hear more voices in literature and art that spoke and continue to speak about violence against women. But they talk about the victims. You, along with the victims, are trying to understand and show the structure of consciousness, inner speech, the psychology of the one who commits violence. Why is this important to you? Can you attribute «The Quay» to feminist writing, or is it, on the contrary, something that is in polemic with it? nine0148

Maria Malinovskaya:


It is only possible to understand the situation of violence on an equal footing with the victims if you are one of them.


The rise of the feminist movement and other great community initiatives coincided with a time in my life when I experienced domestic violence myself. I understand women who, in such circumstances, could not find the strength to speak out in public. Psychologically, it was difficult for me to even read flash mob posts, let alone participate in them. Being in a situation of violence, a person can be simply disoriented. It’s about emotional shock, and physical exhaustion, and the aggressor’s manipulations, which psychologically immobilize the victim, like a spider venom. In addition, it was painful to look at the same notorious hype — when ten random demagogues begin to build reputations on the misfortune of one person. I badly needed some other way of talking to myself and to others. The fact that it will be a poetic text, I realized in the same bathroom, with a description of which the poem begins. And then I decided that it would be a text not only about me, but also about those who have never left the «bathroom», «kitchen», «elevator». Thus, the horror of the personal situation became partly justified by the task: I had the opportunity to study both myself and the motives of the other side. This has become a way, firstly, to critically assess what is happening and, secondly, to psychologically experience it, realizing that it is not my fault, just as there is no way to correct anything without serious medical assistance to the rapist who hid severe psychopathy. And I also understood the urgent need to show that the image of a maniac romanticized in popular culture has nothing to do with reality, where there is a person without interests, hobbies, attachments. nine0023

His consciousness is narrowed down to one idea — committing cruelty to another and getting sexual satisfaction from this. His only occupation (a typical example is Ted Bundy ) is to watch hundreds of snuff videos until he finally comes to the desire to do it himself. No Dexters and Lecters, no beauty or complexity. Dozens of forensic scientists talk about it, but who reads or listens to them? I had and still have the hope that «Prichalny Passage» will be read, and this will change something at least in someone’s perception. The poem is not in controversy with feminist writing. The fact that it shows both sides is my conscious decision. nine0023


Attempts to understand the psychology of the rapist are extremely important for the timely prevention of specific situations and the fight against the existing problem in general.


What documentary cycles/poems are you currently working on? What will they be about?

Maria Malinovskaya: I recently started working on a new project.

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